summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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