It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
