Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You left your phone here
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