they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
