Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize