I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize