im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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