so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
