So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
