He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
