Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
