You can't motorboat a personality
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize