He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
