Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
