Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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