My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
