everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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