drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Farmville is her only friend.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
