I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I believe in your delicious
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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