just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize