So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
