I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
