Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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