Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
did i just pee glitter
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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