Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize