I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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