My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
