Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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