I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
