Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He felt like a one man threesome
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
