porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
