Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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