I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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