I bet he comes in French.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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