Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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