im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize