We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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