I'm so fucking centered right now
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
