Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
