not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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