can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
