Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
