it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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