he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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