Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
