i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
