I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
