I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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