I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
