How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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