she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
