So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
