loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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