A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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