Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
