chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize