Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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