It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
