I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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