I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
