Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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