I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
