I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
