Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize