my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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