Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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