Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's always time for handjobs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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