soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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