I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
