Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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