You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
