Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
